Carnival!

I won't be at carnival this year, I'm going to Ibiza instead (huge whoop of joy, but sad music playing simultaneously). I feel almost like a traitor. Notting Hill Carnival has been a huge part of my life ever since I can remember. As a young kid I used to take part in the parade with my school. Over the years I have embodied many fabuolus things using only a leotard, some sticky back plastic, and a lot of faith. One year I was a guava (don't ask), another a Greek god complete with lyre, the whole experience of it was completely amazing. Everybody is watching you dance and you feel so important. People are giving you food and if you get tired you can just sit up on the float and watch everybody dancing (hopefully) in the sun. The atmosphere is indescribable. Over those two days in August every year, there's no place on earth better to be than the streets of Notting Hill. The smell of a hundred different cusines hangs in the air and you're pulled left and right by the different music coming from the sound systems, the floats, and people that have just stuck their speakers out of the window and are having a party.

I know carnival has had a bad reputation in the past for violence. Often, when I tell people that don't know the truth about it there's a sharp intake of breath, their sphincter tightens and it's a case of: "Isn't it a bit dangerous?". After I've restrained myself from jumping over the table and gouging their suburban eyes out for being so damn ignorant about the best party in the world, I calmly explain that yes, there is always going to be that element of scum who just want to cause trouble. If however, you go with somebody (namely me) who knows where to go and where not to go, the result is always the best day of your life!

Carnival brings everybody together. For two days there are basically no rules, anything goes. People who probably don't so much as tap their little toe all year long are up and dancing in the streets fuelled by sexy jerk chicken and, ten too many potent rum punches. People come from all over the world to join in. Hell, even the police get in on the action. I love that ubiquitous yearly carnival news report, where some poor bobby gets harangued into trying to wind his waist by a scantily clad girl or, even better, a big West Indian mama! In the times in which we live, where we're all so disconnected and closed off from each other in so many ways, I can think of no better way of bringing the humanity back to our streets than getting off your tits, dancing with strangers all day long, and then doing it again the next day. Fuck it, it's carnival!