The awful truth

My name is John Goode. I'm 30 years old. I'm gay, and I'm a virgin. There, I said it. For a while now I've wanted to write a blog but I could never figure out what the hell I would write about. Everything I considered just seemed so trite and had no real relevance for me. Essentially I think blogs are the most self indulgent things going anyway. Good ones are so few and far between. "Look at me, what I have to say is so important.". Is it really though? Most of the time if I ever read a blog I'm thinking about what I can eat next. Most people's lives and what they have to say just isn't that interesting I'm afraid. Who knows, maybe you're thinking the exact same thing now. Only time will tell...

Anyway, it's 3.20 am here in Madrid (where I've lived for the past two years), and I'm coming off the back of a conversation with a dear friend of mine. During our chat it became clear to me that what, if anything, I wanted to write about was my love life (or rather lack of it).

I'm moving back to London in a month and I want to document my attempts to find love in the city I love so much. After two years in Spain where the only action I've had has been a sweaty fumble with a deaf guy (more on that in later updates), I'm determined, on my return to London, to really put myself out there and try and meet Mr Right. That means internet dating, blind dates, meeting someone out and about, wherever love is I'm determined to find it! And you lovely (or hapless as the case may be) people are going to come along for the ride I hope!

So, I'm a virgin. It's not something I usually throw out there to people. Let's face it, nowadays it's kind of a Scarlet Letter thing if you haven't done it by the time your first pube pops up to say hi. But yes, for a myriad of reasons I have never had bum sex. Most people assume that all gay men walk around with permanent erections and use them at least fourteen times a day on some unsuspecting anus. At least that seems to me to be the image propagated by the media and indeed us benders ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some dewy eyed ingenue. I've had my fair share of fun behind the proverbial bike shed, it's just I've never been in a long term (or short term come to that) relationship. I'm aware that it's not the norm for anybody, gay or straight, to reach my age without one decent relationship experience, or indeed to give their flower (sorry, I just love that expression, so Hallmark) to anybody. Clearly I have issues. I'm not going to go into all the reasons behind these, I want this blog to be readable and entertaining, not like reading the Bible at primary school. Suffice to say I had a bit of a difficult time growing up gay and until now I've never been brave enough to deal with my many (yet still rather fabulous) neuroses.

It's strange, putting all this down is immediately cathartic. I think I might be onto something here. Anyway, now you all know the score (virgin, never been in a relationship, neurotic), I hope you'll all come along with me on my journey. Let the games commence...