Pearls of wisdom

I was struck by a thought on Saturday night: Why don't more single straight guys hang out with gays? I know on the face of it, there may not be a hell of a lot of common ground between us benders and our breeding cousins. They like football, we like footballers; they like models, we like the models' hair. You get the picture. If they stood back and analysed the situation though, they'd realise that spending time with the gays is the best way of snaring girls. I feel a bit like a terrible pimp and a traitor at the same time here, like I shouldn't be revealing these secrets and I'm letting down my sisters and...well, my sisters. Look at the facts though. I would estimate that ninety per cent of my friends are female, and although most of them are now in the process of being married off, think of all the gay boys who have hot (and not so hot, but beggars can't be choosers) single girlfriends. Girls are at ease around gay men, we just go together well, like lemon and lime or Jewish mothers and guilt. And it goes without saying that when people are at ease they are easier to approach and perhaps even more receptive to amorous advances. A girl in a gay club isn't expecting to be picked up, so if you swoop in with a nice shirt, a smile, and a good dose of banter, you may find your prospective lady friend more open to your advances than if you're treading on her shoes and spilling beer on her down the local Wetherspoons.

Of course I'm not suggesting that hordes of breeders descend on Old Compton Street every night, heaven forbid. This is just an observation I've made. I'm sure if I could get my hands on some figures, my theory would be borne out. Single straight men that hang out with gays get more sex, I'm convinced of it!